Top 10

Here is the unofficial Top 10 for the suitcase party:

In no particular order...

Melmo because who doesn't want to get sloppy thirds on that one?

Jenna Riley because we know how much she loves Nate's AIM GAME.

Paige because anyone who is that insane normally must be just as insane when handcuffs are involved.

Anne Carfagna because (see Melmo) - sorry Barrett and Po - or was it Po and then Barrett? I lost track.

Katie Lombardi because who doesn't want to be the first one in there? Oh, wait we already found about last Friday.

Therese Moore Hummer because its all in a name.

Kerry Doyle because I hear she gives a mean handy.

Metz because one word...Astroglide.

Lizzy because its best to keep things in the family.

Orange

suitcase party info leaked from inside source

The Matt Porath Cherry-Pickin, Goal-Hangin Layup

Alright so if indeed Jack Nolan is the mastermind behind the full-court press, and if I am the brainchild behind the half-court trap (which I dispute) then one has to wonder...How exactly would you describe the recently successfull, if suprising, offense of Matthew M. Porath? The answer is, without a doubt, that Po Po is the king of goal hanging, a cherry picker, the master of the easy layup. You have all seen it night after night. Porath starts sluggin beers, probably lying about how many he has finished, but nevertheless creeps ever more slowly into the glassy-eyed position against a wall somewhere that he inevitably ends up in. What happens next? Some blackout chick turns the ball over so badly and so blatantly that it amounts to a cross court lob pass right into the arms of a lazy Porath, waiting under the basket. Porath does not full court press. He does not trap at half. In fact, he won't even get back on D. Like a washed up Al Skinner trying to hang at a pickup game at the plex, drunk Po Po just waits under his own basket, hoping that with no effort whatsoever something will fall into his arms and he will score. How miniscule is the effort that Matt shows on the court? Usually amounts to a 'hey...how are ya...' ...'I'm good...' 'cool....' The poor girl has to turn the ball over so blatantly that it sails right over half court and into his arms. You may think its impossible. You may say that a goal hanger like Matt will never get the ball. Just look at his stats though, they tell the story. Its true. Some girls have gotten so drunk that they manage to give this cherry picker a layup. And he won't even hustle back on D.

it would be stupid not to

For those of you who will be living in Boston for the next couple of years... I thought it would be a good idea to trade up for a new kegorator --> THE GAMERATOR

Alternate Introductions for Cake's Next Weird Film

The year is 2013. The recent annihilation of the sun has led to the rise of the Neo-Nazi party in post-apocalyptic Germany and the birth of the Fourth Reich.

Below the streets of Jacksonville there exists a place which few have ever seen, and to which fewer have ever been. In the world of competitive slam-dancing, you either dance, or get slammed.

Ether was the lifeblood of the homosexual community in 19th Century Australia. What began as one man's attempts to cleanup the Ether-filled streets lead to what many have called the goriest bloodbath in the history of mankind. This is Vincent McMichaels' story.

What began as an errand for Ike Henderson to buy a Macintosh computer would change the course of his life forever. The events of that day left him homeless, unhappy...and anything but human.

Can one doctor save the world? Patrick Chantel never knew what he was capable of....until extraterrestrial lifeforms taught him the key to immortal life. This is a story about one doctor's journey to knowledge of imperishable life.

He was just one man. With just one rifle. But on November 3rd, the day of a Boston College football game, he brought anarchy and death to an unsuspecting Chestnut Hill Campus.

Imagine if you were born. But instead of hands, there were guns there. Like where the hands would be. This is going to be a movie about that.